Learning to Love Myself Again After Addiction and The Fight to Be Where I Am…. Heartbreak and Lessons Learned the Hard Way
I had been screaming for years but those screams were silent. They were silent because I wouldn’t let anyone around me hear them. I was dying inside and I had no idea in the world why. Before I had tried that first line of Percocet I was always drawn back. In school as far back as I could remember I was always different. I never wanted to participate in school activities such as field trips or even group experiments in science class. I always thought for some reason I wasn’t good enough and became embarrassed easily over silly things. Maybe I was shy or maybe I was just socially awkward. I never tried to figure it out when I was young, I just thought that is how I would always be…. I would express myself through my poetry. I would let people read my poems on occasion but I kept the dark ones to myself. Often I would write about ending my own life and what it would feel like. Maybe if I would have told someone it could have changed the outcome…. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed a thing… Maybe I should have screamed so they could hear me….